Week 11, India: New Delhi, Old Delhi, American Soil and Stress

The experiences

I arrived in Delhi Friday afternoon over a week ago. Many travelers didn't really have great things to say about it here and people from here didn't know what I was going to do for a week, but I thought it would be a good place to relax and get everything in order for my next stop (South Africa). 

As I'm leaving, I am now sure that I like Delhi. I love having a public transit system that is massive and efficient. The Delhi Metro makes life so much more simple. I'm staying at a hostel a little out of the way but it is nice, close to the metro, and has solid internet. I spent the first several days reading more books and deleting the 1.5 GB of photos that Google created when I had auto-backup enabled (I was worried before that I would run out of storage space on Google and have to buy extra...not anymore). 

I'm glad I did Delhi last; it's more of a respite after the long journey around the north of the country than a disappointing large city. There were pockets of surprisingly great sights like Gandhi's last residence (where he was assassinated and home to one of the most advanced interactive/mixed-media art exhibits I've ever seen), a Crafts Museum (with a ton of textiles on display), a temple shaped like a lotus, and a crazy amount of markets to get lost in. However, more than any other place I've traveled, Delhi is rife with scams. I haven't been approached with any, but it is pretty common. I'm not talking about a rickshaw driver overcharging you (which happens to me all the time, but usually don't want to argue), it's more like someone got scammed out of 1,800 Euros when they were told the hostel was full by their driver and then were "sold" a 21 day tour that didn't exist. My hostel was very good at trying to get to the bottom of those situations and even sent a warning message in advance of my arrival about the latest scam they'd seen. But even that didn't alert some of my fellow travelers.

The Bahá'í House of Worship, (AKA the Lotus Temple)

India Gate

Crafts Museum

Site of Gandhi's assassination

Later in the week I got to meet up with someone I hadn't seen in some time. Mark, a fabulous friend and former colleague of my mother, is BFFs with Beth, a teacher at the American Embassy School here in Delhi. Beth invited me to their campus and gave me the tour. It was so refreshing to see elementary, middle and high school students all going about their days as they would in the states. It was a little nostalgia as we watched the middle school students decorate for the dance that night, we peeked in on the high school rehearsal of Noises Off, and I even spotted the four square courts. Beth used to teach in Milwaukee and moved to Thailand a while back to try teaching overseas and loved it so much that she's kept at it and has been in India now nearly ten years. After a tour of her home and the school we ventured to the American Club which is technically on American soil. It looks a bit like an airport lounge but it was yet another reminder of home with American foods and a "margarita buffet" which we found out was really what we'd call a bottomless margarita. I was really struck by how positive and supportive this community of expats are; Beth didn't go more than 5 minutes without running into someone she knew and introducing me.

The American Club @ the Embassy

Beth and I

Beth suggested I check out some of the sights I mentioned above and that we get breakfast on Sunday at a very fancy hotel. She, her son Benjamin and his friend Asa met me at The Imperial. Not only was the buffet enormous, delicious, and diverse but the scenery was just fabulous. The restaurant is called 1911 because that's when the place was built. Gorgeous colonial design, but I'll let the pictures speak for that. All in all it was great to see a familiar friendly face and I'm very thankful for her advice and wisdom as a fellow lover of travel.

1911 at The Imperial

The pool I was drooling over in the heat

I would have stayed in The Imperial hotel just for the pool (as temperatures weren't dipping below 100). But I suppose I liked the people I met in the hostel more. Something that struck me early on in planning is the lack of hostel accommodation in India. They are just starting to appear now. I couldn't understand this because if anything India seems like the best place for it. So many people have marveled or been frightened by my coming to India alone but that idea isn't nearly as intimidating when there's a hostel around the corner. Hostels offer single travelers an easy way to make friends, resources that make the area more accessible and reliable locals to tell you anything you want to know. We had an interesting conversation back in Amritsar about this and it helped me understand something about dynamics between men and women here too. A lot of people have made references to violence against women when I put India on my list and I haven't seen that or felt it in any way, just the discomfort I described in my last post. Overall it's just a separateness which is more out of respect for women than anything else. Women dance freely at the Wagah border ceremony but if a man attempts to join in, he is stopped by the guards. When the third Metro passed me by on my way to the hostel, a guy passing me on his way out let me know (I had foolishly forgotten) that there's a women only car at the front of every train (as Laura from Australia said: the women only car is HEAVEN).  During my difficulty with the train situation in Amritsar, when I visited the train station manager, Gopi and I were talking about who gets the extra help to get on a train and who doesn't. Foreigners are first in the heirarchy, then females, then people who are older, etc (all unofficial).

When I see this sign, I know I'm headed in the right direction

The idea of single men and women co-mingling is not normal here. That doesn't mean women are less than, just separate really (there is a great amount of respect paid to women). Now I'm the first person to exclaim that separate does inherently mean that they are missing out on things the male society has but that isn't really what I’m getting at here. You don't see hostels much because it's suspicious in Indian communities. Guesthouses or home-stay options are far more acceptable and in keeping with the family and home culture in India.  I hope more people take the plunge and see that India, while of course more intimidating than a fully westernized country, is a great experience, even for a single female traveler. Hostels are becoming more popular here and the ones I've been able to stay at in Delhi and Amritsar have been absolutely amazing. And if hanging with fellow travelers isn't your bag, my stays with families and at ashrams have also been fantastic and helpful. Most everyone you meet just wants to help.

The lessons

I've noticed a lot of my clothing doesn't fit well at all anymore so I ran them through the washing machine thinking it was just over-wear but no dice, still pretty big; I've tripped over my pants more than once. So I'm anxious to weigh myself. Shane the guide on my last day in Melbourne (on the Great Ocean Road) was shocked when I wanted to know my weight (taken for my helicopter ride) but I explained I was losing weight on the trip. I know I dropped 10 pounds between my Bungee and Helicopter ride (1 month)  since those two activities required a very accurate weight and now almost two more months down the line I think it's much more but I'm without a scale to prove it. The facebook community has helped me decide on a devious plan to get weighed by Air France before my outgoing flight (Update: denied). Back to the lesson; In Shane's words, "doesn't the opposite usually happen on a trip?" Well, that is true, great food and indulgences should make you gain weight. But I remember back to when Davin (my esteemed office mate of nearly 5 years) went on his first sabbatical (one month) in Aruba with the family and he'd lost weight too. I attribute our experiences to a number of things

1. The stress hormone Cortisol has no place on a vacation. But back at work, I was storing it like it was getting discontinued.
2. Eating is now a leisurely activity instead of a drive by or over keyboard function.
3. Chemicals in food are a very rare thing. Coca-cola rarely contains more than 4/5 ingredients and all of them are things you know. McDonald's burgers in New Zealand are made with local beef. The point: no one processes food like America, it's not legal anywhere else. All the books and documentaries aren't lying.

The overarching lesson: too much stress is harmful to you. 

This week I had a hard decision to make, stay on the course or head home. I had a family emergency which thankfully my brother navigated like a pro. But some of you may know that my mom has spent her life working herself to the bone to take care of everyone and she was afraid I was following too closely in her footsteps (I am pretty sure that's the main reason she was excited I was unemployed and spending almost a year away from home). And this week my grandmother's health saw a significant decline and the stress of life, work, both kids away from home, and ultimately losing her mom caused a pretty serious health crisis. I don't even know what I would have done had I gotten her call instead of Nick, but I'm so glad she made it to the ER and she's doing better now. Mom is taking it easy (I hope) and I have decided to keep on trekking since she would not forgive me if I gave up the remaining two thirds. 

While I am missing my grandmother's funeral, I said goodbye a few years back. For those who don't know, my grandmother was suffering from Alzheimer's disease for many years and I know that she is exactly where she belongs now. She's not suffering, and she's happy as a clam in heaven where that woman more than anyone I've known deserves to be. Mom and I try to skype and talk about it each day or every other day so that we're both dealing with it. 

The three (ok, four) of us were always trouble

The last tree I put up for grandma

I know I haven't finished dealing with the enormous stress of my former life yet, considering I had an Epic nightmare the morning my brother called to tell me the family news. It was the first I'd had in a good five months but I also am still experiencing more hair loss than normal. This was my favorite side effect of stress because it doesn't start until 3/4 months after a stressful event. I have always been an advocate for doing what you need to to take care of you and over the years I've gotten better at applying that principle to myself as well. There's really no better way to deal with your demons than traveling alone to foreign lands. So please: take care of yourselves. This should be a regular focus of your day/life.

Interesting

• I might be the only person whose mother is excited when her daughter is unemployed (not a one time occurrence).
• Drivers that say "let me show you..." usually get a finders fee for bringing you somewhere to shop, or they get to drive you around longer and earn more money. The heat has started to ramp up in the last few days, easily breaking 100 by lunch so I am thankful that the drivers stop to ask if I want a ride. I am usually pretty stubborn and try to keep walking but this heat is no joke so I've been saying yes a lot more the last few days but have also been able to avoid going to the sites they persistently advertise.
• I must have looked really bad at the end of the day Sunday because the driver offered to take me to the Metro stop for free. I paid him anyway.
• There are so many Americans here in India. I can't figure out why. Other countries I've visited the Americans were minimal. I'm guessing it has something to do with the number of Indians in America. We're more aware of the culture/place. Right?
• I used the last of my Rupees to tip the palm reader (specially trained by her grandfather) in a shop at the airport (where I also picked up an ankle bracelet I'd been looking for). Here's what she had to say:
• Don't get serious about a relationship till 2017 because nothing will be stable till then. 
• Do not repeat past relationships
• My love will not be from the same place as me
• I will experience a break, a move to another country and a change in occupation
• Take time between now and 2017 to focus on my neck and stomach as those will likely be my largest health issues.
• I trust her.
• McDelivery...yes McDonalds delivers and my last day I just had to do it. As you would expect it was not a great idea. Fries were soggy, Mcflurry melted, and it was McDonalds--enough said.

  

  Sad and Shameful

• I bought a Sari--even if I don't wear it or have the top made...it would look pretty cool framed as art.